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| 10.16.2005 |
| State Fair (aka redneck round-up) |
Well with the kids safely tucked away at Ninny's; Jenn & I decided to go to the State Fair and check it out. I had been once before when I was maybe 10 or 12. I still remember various rides and things, but it was more like one of those childhood memories that turn out to be more fiction than fact. OK maybe that's not correct, but things you remember as a kid don't seem as spectacular through adult eyes. Jenn had never been. So there you go. There's your backdrop. Two 30something parents with limited knowledge of State Fairs and no kids head off for some FUN!
In the previous post "Kashmir" my cousin Nicole said that I have a song for every event in my life. Well, she's not wrong and here's the first song I thought of when I entered in the Fairgrounds...."EWWWWWW THAT SMELL. CAN'T YOU SMELL THAT SMELL." Lynard Skynard's "That Smell" for those of you that don't know. Man that was worse than the potty episode I wrote earlier. Now on their own those various treats & snacks may smell fine, but put them all together along with the dirt, hay, barn animals and over abundance of B.O. and you've got a WMD that would make Saddum Hussien's look like a water pistol.
Jenn & I both felt our eyes watering a bit...that's why I thought I had missread a sign on one of those gut wagons...err...I mean food vendures. I thought it said deep fried oreos, but that couldn't be right. Could it?
DEEP FRIED OREOS! Have you people lost your minds! Last year it was Deep Fried Twinkies...now it's Oreos. We're not satistfied with the multiple ways of killing ourselves so we just continue to invent more. Man! I want to know who started this. I have my ideas. Some backyard barbeque near the river and behind the trailer with bubba joe bob and earl (that's only 2 people - not 4) "Well earl, we've got fis', chick'n, hus'pups', squirrel, deer, coon, hog, som'fin I found on the road and taters in the deep fri'r. We gots room fer one more thing. Gotanyidears?" "Hum let me look in the trailer." Bubby joe bob walks to the trailer..."Nope! All weez got left is a half bag of Oreos." "That'll work. Throw'em in." And somewhere in a highend subdivision, a cardiac surgeon is planning his next vacation to Europe in his new Yacht with all the money he's making.
Ok well, that's enough about the food. Now let's get to the rides.
ohmmm. well. Did I metion we were in our 30's. There was nothing that even remotely caught my interest. Mind you Jenn and I lived in Orlando for 6 years. The theme park capital of the world. An adreneline junkie paradise. So we're scanning the various rides and some of them looked interesting, but nothing that I wanted to pay for. Now if we were kids....ow man we would've had a ball. All kinds of cool stuff. But my level of thrill rides had been raised from my previous stay in Orlando and none of these things meet the bar. What kind of ride do I want? you ask. I want a ride that requires you to leave the contact info of your next of kin before you get on. I want a ride that comes with a courtesy pair of underwear. I want a ride that requires you to be legally insane before they let you on. I want a ride that doubles as a stomach pump. That's the kind of ride I want. Needless to say. I didn't ride anything. Don't even get me started with how much they wanted for a ticket for the rides. Talk about price gouging.
There were also cops patrolling the fair on horseback. You know there's a high concentration of rednecks when the po-po calls in its horse squad. Because you turn the bluelights on a redneck and he'll take his shirt off (helps him run faster - aerodynamics) and haul. You'll never catch'em. But you give chase on a horse and you'll get'em ever time. "Whew, That's a mighty fine animal you got'there, but I think his shoe's loose on his left side and your over compensating on the range when you turn right." "Well thanks. Now put your hands behind your head."
Well that's my trip to the state fair. I won't tell you about the 4ft Man Eating Chicken. That's another post. Jenn and I left and went to the Looney Bin. No it's a comedy house wise guy. The first and last comedians were funny. The second guy seemed liked he was nervous. Anyway, we plan on going back to the fair, but not until the kids are old enough to really enjoy it. Then we'll have a great time watching them have fun on all those cool rides.
Laters - G |
posted by G. @ 9:46 AM   |
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| 10.14.2005 |
| Kashmir |
I don't know why I haven't posted this story earlier. This has got to be one of the top 5 experiences in my life...no wait...that's not right....Top 3!
November 5th 2004. Jenn and I are at Baptist hospital waiting on the arrival of Xander Gulledge. It didn't take long at all for her to deliver once we got going, but that's not the point of the story. Anyway. I have this cingular cell phone and I can assign different ringtones to different caller groups. So I can tell who's calling just by the ringtone. Kewl. My parents and Inlaws are "Freebird". Cause we've left the nest. Work is the "imperial march" theme from star wars. My friends is the main title theme of Star Wars. But my main hommies...my inner circle...my boys. Well only the best. "Kashmir" by Led Zeppelin. Only the best band in the entire galaxy....even the one's that are Far...Far Away. If you're familiar with Kashmir (and if you're not then I suggest that you make yourself familiar) then you know the signature Jimmy Page guitar riff that goes to the song. The guitar riff is what plays on my phone when one of them calls....dun.dun.dun....dun.dun.dun....dun.dun.dun.
So the doctor comes in with her team. Everybody's working I'm on Jenn's right side holding her hand and waiting to get my first glance at Xander. He's crowning! And just as he starts to push through I hear...."dun.dun.dun....dun.dun.dun....dun.dun.dun." One of the nurses looks up at me and asks "Is that Led Zeppelin?" and with a tear in my eye I say "Yesssss!" I just let it ring. It was soooo cool to watch Xander make his entrance to the world with Kashmir playing in the background. Man...it was awesome. Jenn doesnt' share my enthusiasm, but then again we don't share the same love for Led Zeppelin either. (or as she likes to call them "The Led Zeppelin") There is no "The" in "Led Zeppellin".
Anyway, I can't wait till Xander and I can just kick back to some Led Zeppelin and talk about whatever. He can literally say he's been a Zeppelin fan since birth. |
| posted by G. @ 10:04 PM |
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| Kevin Max a true artist |
I'm a huge fan of Kevin Max. Haven't heard of him? Well you should. The guy is unbelievably talented. He's not only a singer/songwritter but a poet, author and stage actor. The dude is brilliant. Why isn't he on Top 40 or MTV or anywhere on the mass media radar...well that's what makes him unique. He doesn't do all this to appeal to the most people to sell the most stuff, which is why we have this problem knowadays with cookie cutter music and lip-syncing duds that spend more time dancing than singing. It's the flava of the week phenomenon multiplied by a thousand. There's just sooo much music and movies out there that are nothing but hollow ear & eye candy mass produced to squeeze ever penny they can from the fickel, braindead masses.
Kmax is an artist in a world where true artistry is all but extinct. Perhaps you have heard of the band DC Talk. Composed of Toby McKeenen, Micheal Tait and kevin Max. I liked DC Talk. Phenomenal band...they've taken christian music to a whole new level. Groundbreaking, revolutionary...that's what DC Talk was. Was. After 5 albums they decided to stretch their solo wings. While Toby Mac and Tait have had great success in their solo careers, I have to say that Kmax has grown the most. He is taking it to a whole new level. Stretching outside the "bubble" that entraps most christian artists these days. Of course he'll be the first to tell you he's an artist that is a christian...not a christian artist. Two completely different things. You know...if your water pipes break, do you look in the phone book under christian plummer...NO. Then why do we subject our artist with the confines and label of 'christian artist'. Just let them be artist. The christian culture has this idea that if your a christian and an artist then all your albums/songs/etc. must be about God,Heaven,etc...no. It's not a radical idea. Did you know there is an entire book in the bible that doesn't mention anything about God or Jesus. Yep. Look it up. It did however uphold and illustrate the fundemental truth of God. God is the utimate artist and even He knows how to illustrate Himself without referencing Himself directly. That's the point I'm trying to make...whether I'm doing a good job or not is up to debate.
Want to hear some Kmax music? Try This. It's an online stream of his latest album 'Imposter' Here's a review. If you click on the title of this blog you'll go to his website.
Here's a couple of good articals Click on "Misunderstood Max' on the page for another interview. I'm putting all these links up because it's easier than trying to explain...I like the way one reviewer put it "Kevin Max is the musical equivalent of abstract art. As if his intense vibrato was not enough to set him apart from other artists, Kevin's lyrics are vague and symbolic, essentially poems set to music, and the music itself does not conform to any fixed genre. Like abstract art, he is difficult to understand and easy to dismiss as strange. However, it is this individuality, as his fans are quick to relate, that draws people to his music." That about sums it up. Anyway. I just thought I'd share. Introduce some of you to a talent that often misunderstood and overlooked. Give it a listen.
- G |
| posted by G. @ 7:41 PM |
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| Blog-A-Thon '05 |
Hello Again.
Sorry I haven't updated my blog in awhile. Been busy, but I'm going to make up for it this weekend with the 1st annual Yavin IV Blog-A-Thon. I'm going to try and catch you all up on what's been going on here in my little universe.
I've been under a strict training regiment with my fingers so they can endure the stress of this all out bloggin'. Ok, well let's get started.
First of all...let me start this entry with a warning. If you get easily grossed out then by all means skip this one and go on to the next. Because I'm going to be talking about the most vile, gross, sickest, most disturbing, frightning, funk reeking, nasty, stomach churning, eyes watering, full body shaking, heart stopping, breath taking, gagging, ughhhhh!! ... thing known to man. That's right.....
POTTY TRAINING!
Why can't we just skip this part. God should have just wired us to know how to use the potty. It would've been soooo much easier and a whole lot cleaner. No one had to teach you to breath....why couldn't He just hook up the potty part of the brain to whatever it is that makes us just breath.
I have to say this has been an experience and knowing I'm going to be doing it again with Xander is not really a pleasant thought. Jenn and I have been casually over the past couple of months just putting Haven on the potty from time to time just to let her get used to the idea. We even got her favorite munk munk (aka Blue's Clue) potty seat. Well a couple of weeks ago Haven's teacher at The Learning Center said she was too smart not to be trained. She wanted us to just leave a bunch of panties there and she said she would have her trained in two weeks. "Have at it." I said. It means less messy work for me right. Let someone else do all that "potty" stuff. Man I was lovin' it. Life could just go on as normal, my hands would stay clean and Haven would be potty trained. Boy was I having dillusions of granduer. They neglected to tell me that the 'training' had to continue when she went home. "leave her panties on when you get home." The teacher told me when I picked her up. What!? Why was she still wearing panties? Daddy is picking her up...they knew that. Why didn't they throw some diapers on when I got there? Man. Just can't win. Well when I got home I put them both down in the living room and turned on Dora the Explorer. I was expecting an email so I was going to check it real quick and then put Haven in some diapers. What? oh come on people, cut me some slack. Well, the karma fairy must have been on duty that day because I got what was coming to me. (yeah I can hear you giggling and laughing at my pain...go ahead...laugh it up fuzzball) So anyway I'm typing a reply when Haven comes up beside me. Nothing unsuall. She likes to sit on my lap sometimes while I'm on the computer. So I really didn't notice her much....at least not until she held up the biggest chocolate moth ball I've ever seen. "daddy look." There it was, rolling back and forth between her thumb and forefinger. It only took half a parsec to realize that that wasn't chocolate.
UNNNGHHHHHH! HAVEN!!!!
I knocked it out of her hand (which of course didn't set well with her) then picked her up and noticed other little pellets all over the kitchen floor. Haven Haven Haven Haven....I didn't know what to do...I was panicked. So I ran her to the bathroom and set her on the potty. XANDER! I had forgotten about Xander just crawling around unsupervised...wandering into who knows what...Ungh! *full body shiver* Don't worry. I got it up before he got to it. Then back to haven. I have a really good nose. My sense of smell is heightened to make up for my lacking sense of sense. No that's not a typo...read it
again...slooowly. Anyway, my nose is putting in it's notice and not even bothering to pack...it's leaving. Trying desperately to disattach itself from my face. Wheew! It's all in her panties and smeared everywhere. Now let me just say this. I can wipe a butt all day. That doesn't bother me much. Although there have been a few diaper changes where I considered just throwing kid and all into the washer. But seeing haven 'playing' with her poop, the little pellets everywhere, coupled with the smell, the loaded panties and having to pick it all up......made me somekinda sick. I couldn't eat supper that night till about a quarter to 10. This all happened at around 6pm. I called Jenn once everything was over and told her to go to wal-mart and pick me up a bottle of the "Pink Stuff' Pepto. Needless to say, I put diapers on her immediately cause I wasn't doing that again.
Now on the positive side. The next day she had 5 potty successes at school and has been doing great ever since. Maybe daddy frieghtened her so much she decided it would be easier to just use the potty. See, I told you I knew what I was doing...and you all doubted me.
-G. |
| posted by G. @ 6:45 PM |
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| About Me |
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Name: G.
Home: Arkansas, United States
About Me: I have a beautiful wife, Jennifer, who has blessed me with two children. Haven Dawn & Xander Thomas. I'm a Producer/Editor for UAMS (Univ. of Arkansas for Medical Sciences). Go Cowboys!
See my complete profile
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