Life on Yavin IV: Blog-A-Thon '05

Life on Yavin IV

Hello there. I'm Jedi Knight G. Since the creation of the New Jedi Order by Master Skywalker, the Jedi have been free to take part in previously forbidden activities. One of those being Marriage. The following are the tales of my experiences being married with children. May the force be with you...G.

10.14.2005

Blog-A-Thon '05

Hello Again.

Sorry I haven't updated my blog in awhile. Been busy, but I'm going to make up for it this weekend with the 1st annual Yavin IV Blog-A-Thon. I'm going to try and catch you all up on what's been going on here in my little universe.
I've been under a strict training regiment with my fingers so they can endure the stress of this all out bloggin'. Ok, well let's get started.

First of all...let me start this entry with a warning. If you get easily grossed out then by all means skip this one and go on to the next. Because I'm going to be talking about the most vile, gross, sickest, most disturbing, frightning, funk reeking, nasty, stomach churning, eyes watering, full body shaking, heart stopping, breath taking, gagging, ughhhhh!! ... thing known to man. That's right.....

POTTY TRAINING!

Why can't we just skip this part. God should have just wired us to know how to use the potty. It would've been soooo much easier and a whole lot cleaner. No one had to teach you to breath....why couldn't He just hook up the potty part of the brain to whatever it is that makes us just breath.
I have to say this has been an experience and knowing I'm going to be doing it again with Xander is not really a pleasant thought. Jenn and I have been casually over the past couple of months just putting Haven on the potty from time to time just to let her get used to the idea. We even got her favorite munk munk (aka Blue's Clue) potty seat. Well a couple of weeks ago Haven's teacher at The Learning Center said she was too smart not to be trained. She wanted us to just leave a bunch of panties there and she said she would have her trained in two weeks. "Have at it." I said. It means less messy work for me right. Let someone else do all that "potty" stuff. Man I was lovin' it. Life could just go on as normal, my hands would stay clean and Haven would be potty trained. Boy was I having dillusions of granduer. They neglected to tell me that the 'training' had to continue when she went home. "leave her panties on when you get home." The teacher told me when I picked her up. What!? Why was she still wearing panties? Daddy is picking her up...they knew that. Why didn't they throw some diapers on when I got there? Man. Just can't win. Well when I got home I put them both down in the living room and turned on Dora the Explorer. I was expecting an email so I was going to check it real quick and then put Haven in some diapers. What? oh come on people, cut me some slack. Well, the karma fairy must have been on duty that day because I got what was coming to me. (yeah I can hear you giggling and laughing at my pain...go ahead...laugh it up fuzzball) So anyway I'm typing a reply when Haven comes up beside me. Nothing unsuall. She likes to sit on my lap sometimes while I'm on the computer. So I really didn't notice her much....at least not until she held up the biggest chocolate moth ball I've ever seen. "daddy look." There it was, rolling back and forth between her thumb and forefinger. It only took half a parsec to realize that that wasn't chocolate.
UNNNGHHHHHH! HAVEN!!!!
I knocked it out of her hand (which of course didn't set well with her) then picked her up and noticed other little pellets all over the kitchen floor. Haven Haven Haven Haven....I didn't know what to do...I was panicked. So I ran her to the bathroom and set her on the potty. XANDER! I had forgotten about Xander just crawling around unsupervised...wandering into who knows what...Ungh! *full body shiver* Don't worry. I got it up before he got to it. Then back to haven. I have a really good nose. My sense of smell is heightened to make up for my lacking sense of sense. No that's not a typo...read it
again...slooowly. Anyway, my nose is putting in it's notice and not even bothering to pack...it's leaving. Trying desperately to disattach itself from my face. Wheew! It's all in her panties and smeared everywhere. Now let me just say this. I can wipe a butt all day. That doesn't bother me much. Although there have been a few diaper changes where I considered just throwing kid and all into the washer. But seeing haven 'playing' with her poop, the little pellets everywhere, coupled with the smell, the loaded panties and having to pick it all up......made me somekinda sick. I couldn't eat supper that night till about a quarter to 10. This all happened at around 6pm. I called Jenn once everything was over and told her to go to wal-mart and pick me up a bottle of the "Pink Stuff' Pepto. Needless to say, I put diapers on her immediately cause I wasn't doing that again.
Now on the positive side. The next day she had 5 potty successes at school and has been doing great ever since. Maybe daddy frieghtened her so much she decided it would be easier to just use the potty. See, I told you I knew what I was doing...and you all doubted me.

-G.

posted by G. @ 6:45 PM

1 Comments:

At 10:44 AM, Cara said…

Very good for your first time G! I am rolling here!!!! lol... I have a little advice.. When she is going to be at home with you all day.. Keep her in her panties and set some type of timer (oven, alarm clock, etc.) for 25 minutes.. make sure she has plenty to drink. Everytime the timer goes off, take her to the potty and give her a dum dum (or other type of "prize"). Dawson was completely trained in about a week!! Good luck.. Oh yeah and for Xander, let him hang it outside... D loves that!!! ha ha