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| 6.12.2006 |
| What's Your Vision? |
Red Leader: "All wings report in."
Red Ten: "Red Ten standing by."
Red Seven: "Red Seven standing by."
Biggs: "Red Three standing by."
Porkins: "Red Six standing by."
Red Nine: "Red Nine standing by."
Wedge: "Red Two standing by."
Red Eleven: "Red Eleven standing by."
Luke: "Red Five Standing by."
Well where did you think I got the name from?!?
Yep. It's official. Red Five Media is open for business...FULL TIME!
I decided against PG Productions... it just never grew on me.
After a really...well...interesting week, Jenn and I decided that God was opening the door for me to start my business. We've been planning this for a while, but we had a COMPLETELY different schedule worked out than God did. Our ways are truely not His ways. Anyway. I know now that this is what I'm to do, but I'm still scared out of my wits. God is truely 'testing our faith'. That's what Mark's message was this past sunday..."Building Your Faith." I swear it was tailor made just for us. Like God was speaking directly to us. Incredible!
I feel that this is the vision that God has given me. It's been in my head for a long time and now it's starting to see the light of day. Which is where my tag line comes from..."What is your vision?" I like that.
Well I just thought I'd share where we're at at this time in our life.
I'm a business owner.
I do Video & DVD production, Weddings, Personal books, Logo & Banner Design, Brochures and anything else I can learn.
I'm going to do Websites, but I have to buy the software first...and learn it. I'm a fast learner, I'll get it.
Jenn still works for Grey Star Properties.
We took the kids out of daycare. (we cried-we really loved the people there and so do our kids)
A couple in our small group GRACIOUSLY volunteered to keep the kids 3 days a week so I could work. (Thanks Heat & Dare)
Pam is moving in with us for a few months. we needed addition income from somewhere. (It's gonna get crowded)
Haven now shares a room with her mommy and daddy.
Pam & Zach now have Haven's room.
Xander. Nope. We don't dare move him. He stays put.
and we're broke.
uhhh....and
We're B-R-O-K-E!
As you can imagine. It takes money to start a business and when you're strapped as it is, it's hard to spare any. I need to upgrade my existing gear and buy new equipment as well. The stuff I have now is good for part-time work and small projects. But if I want to do enough work to bring in cash to live off of. Well that's bigger projects...which means bigger gear...which means more money...which I ain't got right now. Oh and I haven't even mentioned marketing yet...whew!
But God is faithful. We are completely dependent upon Him. Which is the way He likes it. He's stretching us...testing us...but when we prove faithful, our faith will be stronger.
Dear brothers and sisters, whenever trouble comes your way, let it be an opportunity for joy. For when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be strong in character and ready for anything.
James 1:2-4
If I didn't have character before...I'm DEFINATELY gonna have it after this.
Sometimes I just sit and stare into nothingness and wonder..."How am I going to get out of this?" Fortunately I have a wife by my side that supports me. She is incredible! She pulls me up from the darkness whenever I start to fall into it and I do the same for her. I told her sunday. "We both can't have our doubting days at the same time. One of us has to be able to encourage the other."
We are fortunate also to be surrounded by friends and family that love us. They are constantly encouraging us. Thank You. We love each and every one of you. Thank you for your continued prayer.
You can check out my website here. There's not much there now, but It's I'm working on it. Please share my info with anyone who needs a logo, banner, book, wedding...etc.
Thanks. |
posted by G. @ 8:43 PM   |
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| 6.07.2006 |
| In The Morning |
"Train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose." - Yoda
I had a great morning. I've done as Yoda so wisely stated. I gave it ALL over to God. I still don't know where I'm headed, but I enjoyed being in God's presence. It was very refreshing and energizing. (As opposed to yesterday...I was terrified) I hadn't had a morning like that in awhile. Thanks for your continued prayers. I'll keep you all posted. |
| posted by G. @ 9:04 AM |
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| 6.06.2006 |
| Where Am I Going? |
"Your eyes can deceive you; don't trust them." - Obi Wan Kenobi
"There is a way that seems right to man, but in the end it leads to death." Prov. 14:12
Maybe Obi-Wan read proverbs during his time on Tatooine. If he didn't, he sure has some of it's wisdom in his words. Who knows?
Where am I going? That's the question that I've been asking myself alot lately. (See previous post) And I keep giving myself the same answer. "I don't know." All I do know is I don't want to stay where I'm at. That's for certain.
I've been reading this book Chazown (pronounced khaw-ZONE) it's hebrew for vision. It's the same word found in the verse... "Where there is no {chazown}, the people perish" Prov. 29:18. Currently I'm starting the 3rd Chapter. It's a good book. I'm slowly becoming aware of my purpose and vision on this planet, but there's the keyword....'slowly'. Now this is not a book you can rush through. Neither should you rush to conclude your destiny or vision for what God has for you. But see here's the thing. I can't explain that to the bill collectors. "Hello...Yes, I know I'm a month behind. Yes. Well, I haven't found my chazown yet. No...no, that's not french for wallet." That just wouldn't work.
This just seems like one of those pivitol moments in life where you have to make a decision. You have to react. Right or wrong just do something! - Well, I don't want to do that. That's not at all what I should do. Yeah, it seems right, but did you read those verses up top. Well go back and read them...I'll wait.
That's what I'm doing currently....waiting. Waiting on God to give me a hint of direction. There are so many voices and distractions in my head at the moment I'm afraid I'll miss His voice. It's hard when your spirilling out of control at what feels like terminal velocity to just focus on one thing. But I have to. I have to shut everything out. All of it! And focus on what God is doing around me and saying to me. Did I mention how hard that is? Did I tell you that my wallet is screaming and the bills are screaming louder? Did I tell you that my innercore, the very essence of my manhood just took a shot to the head and isn't moving much? Did I tell you there's a big clock in my head and it keeps ticking and ticking and ticking? Did I tell you I am confused - scared - humiliated? If I didn't - Now you know.
I have some ideas on what I should do, but there's nothing concrete. Nothing solid. Sure, I've always wanted to go to work for myself. Could I do it? Sure. I know I could handle it. But there's some HUGE obsticles in my way and there is NO WAY I can move them. Only God can do that.
First - Money...takes a big chunk of change to go completely solo. Insurance - marketing - equipment...etc. And who is going to give me a small business loan. I'm unemployed!
Kids - I'd have to pull them from daycare, because I couldn't make enough money at first to keep them in. And that creates a catch 22. Pull the kids from daycare so I can keep more of my income - but that means they're at home with me and how exactly do you do what I do with two kids under 3 running around the house. You can't.
DEBT - Oh...yeah! Jenn and I have become alot wiser about money then we were when we first got married. We spent most of our married life paying off credit cards. Ok so that's been done, but we still have a HUGE student loan to pay off. I mean it's not like we've just run around blowing money...but it's still alot of debt and it's all educational. Don't get me wrong. I'm glad I went to Full Sail and got my training. I absolutely love what I do. I wouldn't do anything else. But man...I'm still paying for it. And I sure won't be making much of a dent if I go solo. It'll take a while to build the business up to where I'm actually turning a profit. Meanwhile...Interest is killing us.
Ok...so well. That doesn't look so good now does it? Maybe I should find another job. I've looked. There's not much currently. There's a Promotions Director...that has some creative skills required but a lot of managerial stuff to. I know my limits. I'm not a manager. There's some graphic positions open. Problem is I don't have alot of experience in print lay-out...most of my stuff is basic design. They're two different animals.
So again I ask myself...where am I going? I don't know.
All I do know is this. No matter how frieghtened I am, no matter how bad it looks, the very earth I'm standing on could split and give way to a pitch black chasm of nothingness - God has me in His grasp and He's not letting go. I just need to sink into it and allow myself to focus on Him and then I won't need to know where I'm going. I just need to know that He's taking me there. |
| posted by G. @ 7:59 AM |
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| About Me |
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Name: G.
Home: Arkansas, United States
About Me: I have a beautiful wife, Jennifer, who has blessed me with two children. Haven Dawn & Xander Thomas. I'm a Producer/Editor for UAMS (Univ. of Arkansas for Medical Sciences). Go Cowboys!
See my complete profile
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