Life on Yavin IV: An Ear Full

Life on Yavin IV

Hello there. I'm Jedi Knight G. Since the creation of the New Jedi Order by Master Skywalker, the Jedi have been free to take part in previously forbidden activities. One of those being Marriage. The following are the tales of my experiences being married with children. May the force be with you...G.

4.20.2006

An Ear Full

"Laugh it up, Fuzzball!" - Han Solo

That pretty much sums it up. I look like one of those Roman-Greco Wrestlers or as my sister put it..."Uh bubba, that's not where the cup goes." Yeah....she's a real riot.

Well for those of you that didn't know, I had surgery on my right ear Wednesday morning. Apparantly my right eardrum receeded/collapsed and was lying on my earbones. Not good. So Dr. Gardner decided to go in and rebuild my eardrum with some cartilage, I still haven't figured out where the extra cartilage came from.
I haven't been in surgery in a long time. They took me back, made me put on the 'gown' and hooked me up to everything. The nurse that put in my IV was really liking me, not because of my uncanny resembelance to Tom Cruise, but because I have really big veins. They've always liked me. I think they could throw the needle from across the room and hit my vein if they wanted to. Then the anesthesiologists came in and said "Breathe this." That's pretty much the last thing I remember before waking up from a really bad trip. It was just like the movies. Everyone's heads were weird and they were all talking funny. Ungh! Then Pain! Owww my EAR! "Does your ear hurt?" one of the nurses asked. "DUH!" That's not what I said, but I think I got the message across with my expression. Jenn said I gave one nurse a look that well...wasn't nice at all. Hey, I was drugged. So they gave me some codene. Good stuff. Very Good stuff.
The nurse came in and started telling me how everything went and what I should expect with my recovery.
My hearing won't be normal for about 3 months in my right ear. (At the moment I can bearly hear anything)
Can't blow my nose for 3 weeks.
If I sneeze, open my mouth to take the pressure off my ears.
No lifting anything over 5lbs for 3 weeks.
Then he said something that made me grin from ear to sore ear....
"No yardwork for 3 weeks." Woooohooo!
Why don't we go ahead and do the left ear too. That'll take up a good part of the grass cutting season.

Anyway. The Doctor said that most of his patients need 2 weeks to fully recover, but I'm just taking one. I don't have
2 weeks to just hang out. But it's not like my job is very physical. That is untill Ron sticks his head in my door. He usually only ask for me when there is heavy lifting involved. Well Ron. I got my doctors excuse now. Good for 2 weeks after I get back to work.

Did I metion the dizziness that came with it. Wuuu. Inner ear's just a little off. Also, how do you put stitches inside your ear. When I asked how many stitches I had, he said several, but they're all inside my ear. He sewed it inside/out instead of outside/in. Weird. He also shaved that side of my head a bit but my hair grows back quick. That doesn't concern me. What DOES concern me is the S-W-E-L-L-I-N-G. Yep. I got a bonafide dumbo ear. He said the swelling will go down if a few weeks. (that's probably why people take 2 weeks to recover) I go to work in just 6 days. Not ony will I be working in mono-sound (which stinks because I'm in a multimedia field) but I'll have a huge ear. Bummer.

Well, that's it for now. I need to take another happy pill. Did I mention that I really like those pills.

posted by G. @ 6:47 AM

5 Comments:

At 8:21 AM, Anonymous said…

Paul - you have such a good sense of humor about these things. Keep the happy pills coming, and have a great week off. I guess I'll have to quit talking over the partition and come around so you can hear what I'm saying :) Later!
At 8:59 AM, Cara said…

I'm glad that everything went well!! Who's the doctor I should talk to when finding out about taking 6 months off of yard work!! That's worth any type of surgery, and happy pills!;)

Get Well Soon!!!
At 1:30 PM, Dare said…

Anakin Skywalker: We lost something.
Obi-Wan: Not to worry. We're still flying half a ship.

Hey at least you still have half your hearing. It could be worse. Both hands could be severed and your neck is 2 inches away from two lightsabers.

Now we know the real reason for TK421 having hearing problems!
At 1:48 PM, Jennifer said…

I am glad your surgery went well, I'll be praying for the pain. Even though you like those happy pills maybe you won't need many.
At 12:39 AM, Capt. C said…

Dude, you will come up with any excuse to keep from doing yard work. What are you going to have done next time - a breast implant?

I hope you have fun with your new friends - Happy Pills!